Entriz after HER. Entry #2

I cried—silently. Not all cries are the same. Some are messy and uncontained, some erupt loud and raw. Some are innocent as a child's sigh, others heavy with vengeance.

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But mine was silent. My eyes only shimmered with the weight of it. Tears can fall for the terrible, but sometimes they come for what is beautiful. This time, I cried for beauty—for a departure too sacred to name.

I had never known this kind of weeping before. This was my first beautiful cry. And in the stillness, I whispered to myself: more. Shed more. Because such moments do not return; the sacred does not visit twice.

You were my first beautiful mistake. And my last.

But nothing terrifies me more than an old man's tears. Good God—there is no sight more unutterably human, more unbearably messy, than that.

And, yes, once again I proved myself worthless for I have failed to ensure the divine future promises to the most beloved person. You were right, I am nothing because you wouldn't get anything from me expect hallow befuddlement. Alas! Old man had to cry once more.